It's been a while...

So I'm at this really awkward stage in my life, and I think we've all experienced our fair share of awkward stages, <stalks own Facebook for embarrassing examples to insert, but alas... too embarrassing> so it's not like this is an unfamiliar feeling. But that doesn't make it any less painful.

I'm not even going to get into the explanation of this sudden need to blog again, but I will say this: It is during these times of change and transition that I feel the greatest desire to be around those I love. When I get stressed out, what I want more than anything is to call someone that I trust and spill my guts to them. I don't want advice, I don't want answers, I just want comfort. I want understanding. I want someone to bounce my ideas off of and help figuring out how to feel about whatever is going on. 

What I've come to realize is this that 85% of the time I don't come out of that conversation feeling any better about the situation. In fact I feel even more confused and conflicted than I did before I drenched my loved one in word vomit. And it's not like listening to me rant and rave makes said loved one feel good at all. I'm sure its quite frustrating, actually. But I digress.

I need to make a change. I need to stop reaching out so much and start looking up. I need to appreciate the life I'm living, and stop focusing so much on how unfair it is a lot of the time. I need to take what I have and make it work for me, instead of comparing myself to all the people around me that are succeeding so easily in my eyes. Because at the end of the day, every single one of us struggles to keep it together sometimes. And just because one persons life is filled with more struggle than others, that doesn't mean either life is any less valuable. 

I need to take some serious chances in the future, I need to put myself out there and be available to say yes to as many opportunities as possible. I need to stop quitting for fear of future failure, because the only one that is going to take any risks on my behalf is me. If I don't believe in myself, who will?

Okay. I've pumped myself up now. I'm ready to take on the world.

I'm about to make some seriously beautiful chocolate dipped waffle cones and the baseboards in the back better watch out, because they're going to be the cleanest they've ever been.

Baby steps.